Letting Go

I.
Kat and I sit inside her home
The air conditioner buzzes softly
It keeps us cool from the sweltering heat
Outside our sons race through the sprinklers
Their young laughter fills the air
We sip burgundy wine and compare notes on the price of food
The telephone rings, Kat drops her glass

II.
I wrote you a letter today
It was mom’s idea that I share my news
I do this before Kat drops the glass
In two months time, my life will take a turn
Motherhood lurks around the bend
I’m all alone in Houston

III.
Mom was on the line, call your father
Cheer him up, he’s in the hospital
A veteran of one war, two conflicts, I sense panic
We got the number to the hospital
Kat used her I’m Captain Richardson’s wife voice to inquire

IV.
I’ve waited for a response
It’s just like you to ignore me and my thoughts
Years of frustration need to be addressed
Do you remember, telling your cronies
Girls aren’t worth shit, why

V.
One-sided conversation, the doctor answers
You were improving, you had gone to the john
Back in bed, you began to read the paper,
A huge jack-hammer struck your chest
They tried to resuscitate you
Fifteen minutes later you were gone

VI.
Did you have any reaction to my letter
Or did you treat it like an ad from the newspaper
I don’t give a shit anymore

VII.
Dew blanketed the grass at night
We pulled up to the house in the early morn
Mom was at the breakfast bar, drinking lukewarm coffee
Kat and I console her for all our loss

VIII.
My son is nine months old
I’m coming home, back to my old job
I hope you will meet us at the airport

IX.
Your friends drop by to pay their respects
A crony from World War II spoke with me
‘He was proud of you girl, you always landed on your feet’
I stroked your chilled cheek, thinking back
When I was daddy’s little girl.

6 June 1998

Godmother

Time has passed, like the millennium
Farewells not to be spoken between us
Fifteen plus years, face to face
Just frequent calls


Memories often fade
A little girl remembers
Sunday church, country drives
Trips to the ice cream parlor, days gone by


Baths in a wooden tub
On top of the kitchen table
Watching the cows come down the hill
Spitting watermelon seeds on the grass
Fresh corn right off the cob
Fried with young tomatoes


A journey to Alameda to see my Dad disembark
A young soldier just back from Korea
Reunited with his young family whom you held safe


I still can picture you
Your red can of chewing tobacco
A piece to place inside your mouth
A virtual habit of days past


Hanging on to my comforter and pillow
Stored lovingly among your treasures
Singing the praises of the Lord for his creations
Now you rest in his loving arms
No more pain, no more suffering
Someday we will meet again, and I can say
I love you once, once again

30 January 1996

Gwendolyn’s Kaleidoscope

Visualize

As willow trees bend

A half-moon outhouse

Grandpa’s princess dancing in the dusty road

Queen of the May, decades ago

Daddy’s gone to Korea on a big ship

I’m too young to realize the graveness

Mother, me, and brother Butch

Living in Floyd Terrace, up on the hill

Alameda at night

Searching for Daddy

As soldiers disembark

In the night mist

Home again

Great adventure at six

Wilmington to Dover, corpman’s delight

Chasing a young girl in flight, too many shots in my arm

Coast to coast by train to board a great ship

U.S.S. O’Henry, leaving Seattle in the rain

Along the gang plank, one by one, off to see Daddy

In a faraway place, the land of the Rising Sun

Roses for me, a kiss for Mom

A handshake for Butch and Al

Cousin Moses came to say how do

From Yokohama to Gifu, three years

Laced with burdensome snow, torrential monsoons

The smell of cherry blossoms in the spring

A short stop to visit with grandpa and grandma

Brothers three, a sister at last

Lynford Hall, and English estate in the 50’s

A quaint village, Mildenhall is where I live

I meet a young English girl, Judy, oh, I have a new friend

Kings and Queens, museums galore

History abounds, the Tower of London

Anne Boleyn

Will I ever stay in one place long enough to

Keep my friends

5:00 a.m., to the mess hall for a gastronomical feast

London bound for a flight, Boeing 747

My 60’s treat, land of Adolf Hitler

An historical event

The Berlin Wall

A Rhine River cruise

Meanders through the German countryside

Dreams of castles, King Ludwig and Hitler’s Retreat

High in the mountains, covered with snow

Towering excitement generates the air

Summer 1963, a Wiesbaden cheer, J.F.K. at the Von Steubin

Months later, one fateful night

Across the airwaves, death of J.F.K., sombers the evening

A secured childhood passes away, civil rights

Exciting news, I’m going home

Five years, a long time

Along the way, one last sibling, foreign born

Eagerness dies as I return to country about to erupt

Poisonous venom from slithering vipers, riots

Harsh realities….

At sixteen

1 February 1994